Food dreams

I had forgotten what it was like back in 2012 when I was on TPN before.  I don't recall desiring food so much and it is really wearing on me this year.  I can do full liquids fairly well but only in small quantities (1-2 ensure's per day, some jello, pudding, or a shake).  I find my stomach filling up with bile many times because the backed up intestinal track just doesn't let anything pass and I don't have a gall bladder to 'dole out' the bile when necessary.  This often forces me to vomit several hundred milliliters of the foul liquid, sometimes several times a day and does not lead to a happy Ron.

I think of salty, crunchy food often.  Crispy tacos, popcorn, nachos, and chips and salsa.  I think about the crunch of the skin of deeply fried chicken like that from Popeye's or KFC.  Regular potato chips and french onion dip sounds wonderful and my mouth waters at the thought of the salt from the chips as it merges with the flavors of the dip with that wonderful crunching sound.

Steak.  Delicious, grilled, thick pieces of steak.  A deeply marbled piece of ribeye, medium rare that melts in your mouth, barely requiring you to chew but the act of chewing is completely rewarding as well.  I think of the baked potato beside it, overflowing with butter, sour cream, bacon, chives, and shredded cheddar cheese.  Again, salt with a number of mingled, complimentary flavors.

I normally wouldn't put a salad in here but, again, the crunch of the lettuce along with a wonderful bleu cheese, ranch, or basalmic vinegrette.  No salad is complete without crunchy, fresh croutons and some shredded cheese.  I remember a bleu cheese wedge I had at the Red Fish grill in NOLA about 10 years ago that was absolute stunning and I dream of having that salad again.

French fries.  Particularly McDonald's french fries.  There is something about the way they taste and crunch in your mouth when they are fresh and hot out of the frier with their light coating of salt.  Other food at McDonald's, I can take or leave but their fries are wonderful.

Crab with lots of clarified butter.  Cracking open the claws with the large chunks of meat inside and then dipping them in the butter for a little taste of heaven.  We don't get it often and it is never fresh here in the middle of the country but it is luscious all the same.

Chipotle.  There are two different things I order at Chipotle:  A chicken fajita burrito with mild and chili-corn salsa, white rice, cheese, and sour cream.  This is perfect when I can't eat it right away and the melding of the flavors is awesome.  The sweetness of the corn, mixing with the heat of the chilis along with the slight char on the steak is heavenly.  When I eat at Chipotle, I generally get the crispy chicken tacos, again with mild and chili-corn salsa, cheese and lettuce and the crispiness of the shells is always remarkable and the rest of the flavors put me in a bit of a happiness coma.

A ground beef chimichanga, fried with a crispy shell, smothered in green chili, lettuce, and sour cream is another thing I am looking forward to.  The heat of the chili is tempered by the coolness of the lettuce and the tang of the sour cream.  The meat filling, along with more cheese, grilled onions adds another dimension of flavor that I miss terribly.

So many other foods.  Chicken Parmesan, sesame chicken, Stephanie's delicious sweet and sour chicken, Five guys hamburgers, Jack Daniel's fried shrimp at TGI Fridays, Hot wings.  The list goes on and on.

I love donuts but they are not high on my list right now.  Savory is most of what I crave.  I grow tired of the sweet chocolaty flavor of ensure and the sweet sameness of Jello (Jello brand is better than Jolly Rancher brand).  I occasionally get some cream of chicken/mushroom soup but, again, the sameness is overwhelming.

Hopefully soon.  I hope to find out tomorrow if Dr. Boudreaux believes he can help and we can then plan for the surgery.  Soon after that, I will get food.  I will get my savory.  I will have my flavors.  I know it is going to be slow going at the start but I know I will be able to eat and not worry that it is coming back up an hour later.  Soon. That is what I keep telling myself.