This one was brutal. I had surgery on the 8th and this was another 14 hour enormity. I don't recall many of the details but the tumors had once again entangled the intestines and a total of 64 or so tumors were removed. I also got the new experience of coming out from surgery with an intubation, doing all my breathing and preventing me from talking.
I went nuts. I was losing my mind. I thought I was in another part of the world, I could not identify truth from fiction and I weaved extraordinary story lines in my mind. They had to restrain me to keep me from pulling out the tube and, once the tube came out, I then went psychotic again an pulled out my NG tube, forcing them to put in another one.
I have never felt so helpless or scared in my life. What is a person if not for their mind and I could not find mine.
Additionally, my left arm has gone partially numb from about mid-forearm through the thumb and first two fingers. It is weak and I am working on trying to restore it to normalcy (or something close to it).
We finally got moved out of ICU yesterday and are now in a nice comfortable 5th floor room. I am still having extreme trouble sleeping and focussing but things are slowly moving forward. I have started clear liquids and hope to progress to full liquids soon.
That is about all I can write at this point but want to let everyone know what we are slowly progressing. Returning home will probably not be for a week or more yet but I am up and I can walk. Looking forward to seeing everyone soon!
--Ron
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Sunday, June 7, 2015
I think we are go for surgery this time
Everything is looking up for a surgery on Monday. Dr. Boudreaux came through on Friday and said that he is pleased with how things are progressing. The Horrid NG tube has drained off over 2 liters of liquid which means that he will have that much less in my bowels to fight through. He also took out the chest tube on Friday which has made my days a bit more comfortable.
The NG tube is still my nemesis. I have had it in since Tuesday night and not a single day has been pleasant with it. It makes swallowing hurt. I have trouble talking because that hurts as well. If I lift or turn my head much at all, it hurts. I know I will have it in surgery and will wake with it. If history holds true, it may not come out until Thursday.
For the surgical consent, his list of goals included freeing up intestines, possible resection, possible tumor rebulking, possible ureter repair or rerouting, and possible colostomy reversal. Friday also included a CT of the rectum to see how difficult reversal may or may not be. Everything he want to do would improve my situation from eating, to digesting, to kidneys and to pooping. Hopefully he is successful and able to achieve a good portion of that list.
We have no idea what time surgery will be as we are the second surgery of the day and need to wait for the OR. Again, it will be almost painful to wait these hours since you don't know when they will end and there is always the fear that things will get too late and they will delay it again. I don't think this is will be the case but I cannot stop thinking about it.
Today, the other surgeon that will be assisting Dr. Boudreaux came through and I did not catch his name but he appears new to the neuroendocrine clinic. Surgery should be late morning and it is going to be a long wait.
Obviously, I will not be posting again for the next few days so I want to refer you do my wife's caring bridge site where she will be posting updates as to progress both for her and for me in these next days. Feel free to send some good vibrations her way as there is so much she wants to do to help even though there is nothing she can do.
The NG tube is still my nemesis. I have had it in since Tuesday night and not a single day has been pleasant with it. It makes swallowing hurt. I have trouble talking because that hurts as well. If I lift or turn my head much at all, it hurts. I know I will have it in surgery and will wake with it. If history holds true, it may not come out until Thursday.
For the surgical consent, his list of goals included freeing up intestines, possible resection, possible tumor rebulking, possible ureter repair or rerouting, and possible colostomy reversal. Friday also included a CT of the rectum to see how difficult reversal may or may not be. Everything he want to do would improve my situation from eating, to digesting, to kidneys and to pooping. Hopefully he is successful and able to achieve a good portion of that list.
We have no idea what time surgery will be as we are the second surgery of the day and need to wait for the OR. Again, it will be almost painful to wait these hours since you don't know when they will end and there is always the fear that things will get too late and they will delay it again. I don't think this is will be the case but I cannot stop thinking about it.
Today, the other surgeon that will be assisting Dr. Boudreaux came through and I did not catch his name but he appears new to the neuroendocrine clinic. Surgery should be late morning and it is going to be a long wait.
Obviously, I will not be posting again for the next few days so I want to refer you do my wife's caring bridge site where she will be posting updates as to progress both for her and for me in these next days. Feel free to send some good vibrations her way as there is so much she wants to do to help even though there is nothing she can do.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Ready, Set, Delay...
I don't know if you can imagine how hard it is to write this post. We arrived in NOLA on 5/25, expecting to have surgery on 5/27. That was then delayed to tomorrow, 6/3 so that I could get stronger before the procedure. Well, I am not stronger enough yet and we are delaying once more.
Right now, the target is Monday June 8th and there are a number of reasons. First, my prealbumen blood level is lower than desired. Prealbumen is a measure of nutritional sufficiency and mine is not as high as they want prior to surgery. Second, I am severely anemic right now with a hemoglobin level of 8. I don't know how it dropped so crazy low but that is a very bad place to be in and they are working hard to raise that with EPO shots and iron infusions. Finally, I have developed a pneumothorax.
You may remember my post about putting in the chest tube to drain the pleural efflusion. Well, it is draining but, at the same time, a non trivial amount of air has taken its place and this is what is known as a pneumothorax. Today, they swapped out the old hose for a larger one, hoping this would help and they are going to have a cardio-thorasic surgeon look at the x-rays to see if there is something he can do to help.
For me, all this means is yet another delay. Five more days. The days keep getting tacked on and I don't know when it will end. We could get to Monday and he could still want to delay again. I know he is weighing the risk of surgery versus the potential with an improvement in health but I am having a hard time handling it.
Tonight, I understand I will finally be getting the NG tube. I have dreaded this but he will be giving some additional meds to help me through the procedure of getting it inserted while conscious. I don't know what other violations I will be experiencing over the next few days but a lot can happen in 5 days that I just can't imagine.
Five more days. Stephanie keeps me upright while I am here struggling and the thought of returning to my kids must be kept up front of my mind as well. I will make it but it is getting exceptionally difficult. I appreciate all the emails of support and well wishes and hope I can bring better news on Sunday night.
Right now, the target is Monday June 8th and there are a number of reasons. First, my prealbumen blood level is lower than desired. Prealbumen is a measure of nutritional sufficiency and mine is not as high as they want prior to surgery. Second, I am severely anemic right now with a hemoglobin level of 8. I don't know how it dropped so crazy low but that is a very bad place to be in and they are working hard to raise that with EPO shots and iron infusions. Finally, I have developed a pneumothorax.
You may remember my post about putting in the chest tube to drain the pleural efflusion. Well, it is draining but, at the same time, a non trivial amount of air has taken its place and this is what is known as a pneumothorax. Today, they swapped out the old hose for a larger one, hoping this would help and they are going to have a cardio-thorasic surgeon look at the x-rays to see if there is something he can do to help.
For me, all this means is yet another delay. Five more days. The days keep getting tacked on and I don't know when it will end. We could get to Monday and he could still want to delay again. I know he is weighing the risk of surgery versus the potential with an improvement in health but I am having a hard time handling it.
Tonight, I understand I will finally be getting the NG tube. I have dreaded this but he will be giving some additional meds to help me through the procedure of getting it inserted while conscious. I don't know what other violations I will be experiencing over the next few days but a lot can happen in 5 days that I just can't imagine.
Five more days. Stephanie keeps me upright while I am here struggling and the thought of returning to my kids must be kept up front of my mind as well. I will make it but it is getting exceptionally difficult. I appreciate all the emails of support and well wishes and hope I can bring better news on Sunday night.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Two days down, five to go
We slowly advance time here in NOLA and it never seems to advance fast enough. We got moved across the building to one of the new larger rooms which is wonderful. The other rooms were renovated but there was no room for Stephanie to be with me, especially when she stays the night. We think we are actually in the very same room that we occupied when we came to NOLA for the first time ever back in April of 2012.
I still don't have an NG tube and, as long as I don't throw up, Dr. Boudreaux is going to delay giving me one. My bowels are continuing to decompress from the bottom as more and more diarrhea is expelled and I don't add anything other than gastric juices to the top end. Hopefully I will be able to delay the NG tube until the day of surgery and not have to get one inserted while conscious nor have more time with it in me than necessary.
On the negative side, he is concerned about the fluid on my lungs and wants me to be as strong as possible. So, we drained fluid on Thursday and added a chest tube to continue draining the lung. The draining was done under a vacuum and caused my shoulder to tense up worse than I can remember. The pain scale that they ask you to use is 0 (no pain) to 10 (worst pain you can imagine) and this easily hit a 9 for a period of time before backing off to a 7. They then gave me some toradol which brought it down to a 5.
Of course, then night came and I needed to figure out how to sleep with this thing in my back. Sleeping on my left side causes my shoulder to hurt, sleeping on my back causes the tube to be uncomfortable and continue to hurt. My right side is difficult and requires careful positioning to avoid laying on hard plastic valves.
Sleep would not come, even with my 10:30 toradol shot. Finally, at 2am, I asked for something stronger and they paged the doctor. He gave me a 10/325 percocet which is what I take at home and I was able to get some sleep with that in my system. Percocet works but it is a narcotic and the big downside to narcotics for me is that it slows the digestive tract and that is one of the last things we want at this point. We want my gut to be as active as possible so that it drains and empties, decompressing before surgery.
I am getting TPN again at about 2200 calories/day and they are giving me daily growth hormone. Dr. Boudreaux will also be gave me some additional IV iron to help the EPO increase my hemoglobin production, again making me stronger for the surgery. Last I heard, my hemoglobin was in the area of 10+ when it is desired to be much higher. Hopefully the iron ignites with the EPO and gets my bone marrow hopping.
Just a couple more days is what I keep saying. It is getting closer and I will get the surgery. I know the days after the surgery will be even more difficult but the end will be in sight. I have already spoken with Steph about what I want to do WRT food after surgery. I want my traditional Popeye's mashed potatoes and gravy as soon as I can start taking solids along with one or two pieces of crispy dark meat chicken. I also would like a Pizza Hut personal Pan Pizza Supreme if she can find one because they are just the right size for my appetite and would taste delicious.
In 2012, I did not plan where to eat when I got out because I did not really know the area nor did I know what my appetite would be. I know now that my appetite will be limited so I can't eat too much but I want something that I have been craving for a while. It will sound disgusting to many but I want some McDonalds french fries. You know the ones, just out of the hot oil, crispy, golden brown with a good dusting of salt. I may want a bit more so I may just get a cheese burger. I would like a Big Mac but my appetite will not be equal to the task.
On a very positive note, Forrest graduated 8th grade yesterday and we got to watch it through the wonders of Skype. At times I feel like that scene from the Incredibles (see this scene at about 50 seconds on) where Bob is complaining about celebrating mediocrity but I am glad to see my son move on from middle school to high school. River (my daughter), took a wonderful picture of Forrest with his big brother. Both will be freshmen next year, Riley at CSU and Forrest at Discovery Canyon. I am very proud of both of them.
I still don't have an NG tube and, as long as I don't throw up, Dr. Boudreaux is going to delay giving me one. My bowels are continuing to decompress from the bottom as more and more diarrhea is expelled and I don't add anything other than gastric juices to the top end. Hopefully I will be able to delay the NG tube until the day of surgery and not have to get one inserted while conscious nor have more time with it in me than necessary.
On the negative side, he is concerned about the fluid on my lungs and wants me to be as strong as possible. So, we drained fluid on Thursday and added a chest tube to continue draining the lung. The draining was done under a vacuum and caused my shoulder to tense up worse than I can remember. The pain scale that they ask you to use is 0 (no pain) to 10 (worst pain you can imagine) and this easily hit a 9 for a period of time before backing off to a 7. They then gave me some toradol which brought it down to a 5.
Of course, then night came and I needed to figure out how to sleep with this thing in my back. Sleeping on my left side causes my shoulder to hurt, sleeping on my back causes the tube to be uncomfortable and continue to hurt. My right side is difficult and requires careful positioning to avoid laying on hard plastic valves.
Sleep would not come, even with my 10:30 toradol shot. Finally, at 2am, I asked for something stronger and they paged the doctor. He gave me a 10/325 percocet which is what I take at home and I was able to get some sleep with that in my system. Percocet works but it is a narcotic and the big downside to narcotics for me is that it slows the digestive tract and that is one of the last things we want at this point. We want my gut to be as active as possible so that it drains and empties, decompressing before surgery.
I am getting TPN again at about 2200 calories/day and they are giving me daily growth hormone. Dr. Boudreaux will also be gave me some additional IV iron to help the EPO increase my hemoglobin production, again making me stronger for the surgery. Last I heard, my hemoglobin was in the area of 10+ when it is desired to be much higher. Hopefully the iron ignites with the EPO and gets my bone marrow hopping.
Just a couple more days is what I keep saying. It is getting closer and I will get the surgery. I know the days after the surgery will be even more difficult but the end will be in sight. I have already spoken with Steph about what I want to do WRT food after surgery. I want my traditional Popeye's mashed potatoes and gravy as soon as I can start taking solids along with one or two pieces of crispy dark meat chicken. I also would like a Pizza Hut personal Pan Pizza Supreme if she can find one because they are just the right size for my appetite and would taste delicious.
In 2012, I did not plan where to eat when I got out because I did not really know the area nor did I know what my appetite would be. I know now that my appetite will be limited so I can't eat too much but I want something that I have been craving for a while. It will sound disgusting to many but I want some McDonalds french fries. You know the ones, just out of the hot oil, crispy, golden brown with a good dusting of salt. I may want a bit more so I may just get a cheese burger. I would like a Big Mac but my appetite will not be equal to the task.
On a very positive note, Forrest graduated 8th grade yesterday and we got to watch it through the wonders of Skype. At times I feel like that scene from the Incredibles (see this scene at about 50 seconds on) where Bob is complaining about celebrating mediocrity but I am glad to see my son move on from middle school to high school. River (my daughter), took a wonderful picture of Forrest with his big brother. Both will be freshmen next year, Riley at CSU and Forrest at Discovery Canyon. I am very proud of both of them.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Surgery tomorrow? Not quite...
It has been a rough two weeks since my last post simply because I am getting worn down from the hits. I have not been eating anything other than small sips of water in addition to the 2liters of TPN. My last 'food' was probably the Strawberry Jello snack I had on my birthday, May 17th. I tried eating one more time after that but my digestive tract had other ideas and the food came back up.
The blockage is certainly becoming more severe. I have had some stool movement (VERY watery with suspended material) so part of the intestine has been starting to decompress. Unfortunately, I am not in a position for surgery quite yet.
Dr. Boudreaux felt my abdomen and said it felt very blocked and scarred. Laying flat is difficult from the tightness and there are places where it is quite painful when he presses. Definitely obstructed and definitely in need of surgery but he needs me to improve in two ways.
First, he wants to insert an NG tube (I had one of these back in April of 2012 and they are damned uncomfortable to receive when conscious) to try and relieve some of the pressure on the bowel from the top side. This will make it easier to manipulate and safer for me and the surgery. Second, he wants to continue the TPN as well as start some additional shots to try end encourage protein usage.
The long and short of this is no surgery tomorrow. I had been counting on this for weeks now and keeping it in my sights as a day of relief but we are putting it off another week. I will be hitting the ER tomorrow and then transferred to a room for a week of in patient NG tube and TPN until surgery the follow Wednesday, June 2nd.
There is a funny symmetry to 2012 in that in 2012
I am losing it. I am at my limit and beyond with this last sequence. Have you noticed how many commercials are about food? Have you realized how much of social life revolves around food? I feel somewhat like an outcast with my inability to eat and my hunger cannot be satiated. I feel run down and tired and am having a hard time just going day to day right now.
At least the NG tube will stop the vomiting. At least the surgery is coming (although I said that before). At least I have my beautiful wife at my side. At least I have made it long enough to see my first born graduate high school. I just need to get past this mountain I have in front of me.
The blockage is certainly becoming more severe. I have had some stool movement (VERY watery with suspended material) so part of the intestine has been starting to decompress. Unfortunately, I am not in a position for surgery quite yet.
Dr. Boudreaux felt my abdomen and said it felt very blocked and scarred. Laying flat is difficult from the tightness and there are places where it is quite painful when he presses. Definitely obstructed and definitely in need of surgery but he needs me to improve in two ways.
First, he wants to insert an NG tube (I had one of these back in April of 2012 and they are damned uncomfortable to receive when conscious) to try and relieve some of the pressure on the bowel from the top side. This will make it easier to manipulate and safer for me and the surgery. Second, he wants to continue the TPN as well as start some additional shots to try end encourage protein usage.
The long and short of this is no surgery tomorrow. I had been counting on this for weeks now and keeping it in my sights as a day of relief but we are putting it off another week. I will be hitting the ER tomorrow and then transferred to a room for a week of in patient NG tube and TPN until surgery the follow Wednesday, June 2nd.
There is a funny symmetry to 2012 in that in 2012
- we came down on Memorial day (check)
- had clinic on the day after memorial day (check),
- surgery on 5/31, 6/1, and 6/2.
I am losing it. I am at my limit and beyond with this last sequence. Have you noticed how many commercials are about food? Have you realized how much of social life revolves around food? I feel somewhat like an outcast with my inability to eat and my hunger cannot be satiated. I feel run down and tired and am having a hard time just going day to day right now.
At least the NG tube will stop the vomiting. At least the surgery is coming (although I said that before). At least I have my beautiful wife at my side. At least I have made it long enough to see my first born graduate high school. I just need to get past this mountain I have in front of me.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Surgery is planned!
I said this back in May of 2012 and November of 2012 and we are back here again. Surgery is a GO! I have been sitting on pins an needles since yesterday morning, both dreading and excited for a call from New Orleans. Finally, at about 3:00, I got the call and they believe surgery is reasonable to get me eating again. Interestingly, in May of 2012, we went to clinic the day after Memorial day just like we are doing again here is May of 2015.
We will be going to clinic on 5/26 at noon and will be admitted to the hospital after my appointment, preparing for surgery on the 27th. As with prior surgeries, this caries a significant risk of carcinoid crisis but there are few better equipped to handle this reaction that Dr. Boudreaux. I am sure there is a significant chance of losing some bowel because it is so scarred but, when all is said and done, I should be able to eat.
Starting to eat will come slowly because my intestines will not be used to large volumes of food and my stomach most certainly has shrunk some but I will eat normally again! My food dreams will be addressed and I will be able to participate in so many social settings that revolve around food. Right now, I would even look forward to some of the bone-in charcoal ribs that Rob DeLine made for a get together at his house years ago!
Long term plans? Surgery on the 27th means that the first of August is 9 weeks off. That will be my target for returning to normal life (hockey, work, and normal play). Ski season is obviously in no danger and I am looking forward to making up for the season truncation I experienced this year.
Metron graced me with an Amazon gift card and I have over a dozen books to read which will fill up my time. I appreciate all the book recommendations from everyone and certainly have a variety of new reading to do. One (H is for Hawk) was just finished and is a book that I would not have picked up without a recommendation and was a good read.
Monday, May 4, 2015
Food dreams
I had forgotten what it was like back in 2012 when I was on TPN before. I don't recall desiring food so much and it is really wearing on me this year. I can do full liquids fairly well but only in small quantities (1-2 ensure's per day, some jello, pudding, or a shake). I find my stomach filling up with bile many times because the backed up intestinal track just doesn't let anything pass and I don't have a gall bladder to 'dole out' the bile when necessary. This often forces me to vomit several hundred milliliters of the foul liquid, sometimes several times a day and does not lead to a happy Ron.
I think of salty, crunchy food often. Crispy tacos, popcorn, nachos, and chips and salsa. I think about the crunch of the skin of deeply fried chicken like that from Popeye's or KFC. Regular potato chips and french onion dip sounds wonderful and my mouth waters at the thought of the salt from the chips as it merges with the flavors of the dip with that wonderful crunching sound.
Steak. Delicious, grilled, thick pieces of steak. A deeply marbled piece of ribeye, medium rare that melts in your mouth, barely requiring you to chew but the act of chewing is completely rewarding as well. I think of the baked potato beside it, overflowing with butter, sour cream, bacon, chives, and shredded cheddar cheese. Again, salt with a number of mingled, complimentary flavors.
I normally wouldn't put a salad in here but, again, the crunch of the lettuce along with a wonderful bleu cheese, ranch, or basalmic vinegrette. No salad is complete without crunchy, fresh croutons and some shredded cheese. I remember a bleu cheese wedge I had at the Red Fish grill in NOLA about 10 years ago that was absolute stunning and I dream of having that salad again.
French fries. Particularly McDonald's french fries. There is something about the way they taste and crunch in your mouth when they are fresh and hot out of the frier with their light coating of salt. Other food at McDonald's, I can take or leave but their fries are wonderful.
Crab with lots of clarified butter. Cracking open the claws with the large chunks of meat inside and then dipping them in the butter for a little taste of heaven. We don't get it often and it is never fresh here in the middle of the country but it is luscious all the same.
Chipotle. There are two different things I order at Chipotle: A chicken fajita burrito with mild and chili-corn salsa, white rice, cheese, and sour cream. This is perfect when I can't eat it right away and the melding of the flavors is awesome. The sweetness of the corn, mixing with the heat of the chilis along with the slight char on the steak is heavenly. When I eat at Chipotle, I generally get the crispy chicken tacos, again with mild and chili-corn salsa, cheese and lettuce and the crispiness of the shells is always remarkable and the rest of the flavors put me in a bit of a happiness coma.
A ground beef chimichanga, fried with a crispy shell, smothered in green chili, lettuce, and sour cream is another thing I am looking forward to. The heat of the chili is tempered by the coolness of the lettuce and the tang of the sour cream. The meat filling, along with more cheese, grilled onions adds another dimension of flavor that I miss terribly.
So many other foods. Chicken Parmesan, sesame chicken, Stephanie's delicious sweet and sour chicken, Five guys hamburgers, Jack Daniel's fried shrimp at TGI Fridays, Hot wings. The list goes on and on.
I love donuts but they are not high on my list right now. Savory is most of what I crave. I grow tired of the sweet chocolaty flavor of ensure and the sweet sameness of Jello (Jello brand is better than Jolly Rancher brand). I occasionally get some cream of chicken/mushroom soup but, again, the sameness is overwhelming.
Hopefully soon. I hope to find out tomorrow if Dr. Boudreaux believes he can help and we can then plan for the surgery. Soon after that, I will get food. I will get my savory. I will have my flavors. I know it is going to be slow going at the start but I know I will be able to eat and not worry that it is coming back up an hour later. Soon. That is what I keep telling myself.
I think of salty, crunchy food often. Crispy tacos, popcorn, nachos, and chips and salsa. I think about the crunch of the skin of deeply fried chicken like that from Popeye's or KFC. Regular potato chips and french onion dip sounds wonderful and my mouth waters at the thought of the salt from the chips as it merges with the flavors of the dip with that wonderful crunching sound.
Steak. Delicious, grilled, thick pieces of steak. A deeply marbled piece of ribeye, medium rare that melts in your mouth, barely requiring you to chew but the act of chewing is completely rewarding as well. I think of the baked potato beside it, overflowing with butter, sour cream, bacon, chives, and shredded cheddar cheese. Again, salt with a number of mingled, complimentary flavors.
I normally wouldn't put a salad in here but, again, the crunch of the lettuce along with a wonderful bleu cheese, ranch, or basalmic vinegrette. No salad is complete without crunchy, fresh croutons and some shredded cheese. I remember a bleu cheese wedge I had at the Red Fish grill in NOLA about 10 years ago that was absolute stunning and I dream of having that salad again.
French fries. Particularly McDonald's french fries. There is something about the way they taste and crunch in your mouth when they are fresh and hot out of the frier with their light coating of salt. Other food at McDonald's, I can take or leave but their fries are wonderful.
Crab with lots of clarified butter. Cracking open the claws with the large chunks of meat inside and then dipping them in the butter for a little taste of heaven. We don't get it often and it is never fresh here in the middle of the country but it is luscious all the same.
Chipotle. There are two different things I order at Chipotle: A chicken fajita burrito with mild and chili-corn salsa, white rice, cheese, and sour cream. This is perfect when I can't eat it right away and the melding of the flavors is awesome. The sweetness of the corn, mixing with the heat of the chilis along with the slight char on the steak is heavenly. When I eat at Chipotle, I generally get the crispy chicken tacos, again with mild and chili-corn salsa, cheese and lettuce and the crispiness of the shells is always remarkable and the rest of the flavors put me in a bit of a happiness coma.
A ground beef chimichanga, fried with a crispy shell, smothered in green chili, lettuce, and sour cream is another thing I am looking forward to. The heat of the chili is tempered by the coolness of the lettuce and the tang of the sour cream. The meat filling, along with more cheese, grilled onions adds another dimension of flavor that I miss terribly.
So many other foods. Chicken Parmesan, sesame chicken, Stephanie's delicious sweet and sour chicken, Five guys hamburgers, Jack Daniel's fried shrimp at TGI Fridays, Hot wings. The list goes on and on.
I love donuts but they are not high on my list right now. Savory is most of what I crave. I grow tired of the sweet chocolaty flavor of ensure and the sweet sameness of Jello (Jello brand is better than Jolly Rancher brand). I occasionally get some cream of chicken/mushroom soup but, again, the sameness is overwhelming.
Hopefully soon. I hope to find out tomorrow if Dr. Boudreaux believes he can help and we can then plan for the surgery. Soon after that, I will get food. I will get my savory. I will have my flavors. I know it is going to be slow going at the start but I know I will be able to eat and not worry that it is coming back up an hour later. Soon. That is what I keep telling myself.
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